Monday, 21 January 2013

January 21st Hot Shots/Hot Shots Part Deux (PG/12)




Can you say DOUBLE FEATURE?!?!
Today I bring y'all what I like to think of as Charlie Sheen's best, and one of my favourite comedies. Hot Shots is a slapstick parody of Top Gun with Charlie Sheen playing Charlie Sheen, I mean Topper Harley. Topper is a crack fighter pilot, yet mentally unstable who has to save the day on a sabotaged mission. This is definitely a film worth watching more than once as there are so many sight gags that you will probably miss a few the first time around. Hot Shots knows its a comedy and does nothing to try to convince anyone otherwise. Many scenes are shot for maximum comedic effect with the viewers laughbox in mind, often going over the top to create an almost childish sense of humour. The fourth wall is broken multiple times, the props are blatantly fake and the characters written to exaggerate these 'flaws'. These flaws however are what drives the movie. It knows there is very little seriousness and makes no effort to create such a glamer. Anyone who knows me knows that something as simple as a fart noise will get me giggling like a schoolgirl, and this film plays on that majorly. The jokes and one-liners are so simple that you don't need to understand the whole film to find them funny, like some of the more recent flicks out there. I could quite happily have this on in the background, drifting in and out and still be laughing every time I tuned back in. Playing out like a Tim Vine stand-up routine has it's benefits at times. Looking at the cast, there are a few names that you might or might not have expected to see. First off is Jon Cryer who you should recognise as Charlie's brother Alan in his 'hit' sitcom, Two and a Half Men. Cryer plays his role as Wash Out, Topper's flight buddy extremely well here, creating an emotional bond with the audience that lets the character seem real. Cary Elwes takes a break from being the Dread Pirate Roberts of The Princess Bride fame to become Topper's rival, Kent. Lloyd Bridges appears as the dopey but somehow still in position Admiral Benson, a role that is strangely similar to George Gaynes' Commandant Lassard from the Police Academy series, a character that is brilliant for many reasons unknown to me. We also see Ryan Stiles in his big screen debut as pilot 'Mailman' Farnham. The show stealer, however was most definitely Valeria Golino as Ramada Thompson, Topper's love interest. Even though I have said the film makes no qualms about its seriousness, Golino just makes her scenes 'real'. It's all in the little movements, a dip of the head, the slight shift in posture, they all provide a realism that breaks away from the fabricated world without disrupting it.

In Part Deux, Sheen returns as Harley who has been living in a monastery since the original ended, and is returned to service to lead a rescue team to Iraq to rescue hostages from Desert Storm and defeat Saddam Hussein. There is no flying fighter jets this time, so instead Rambo gets the parody treatment. Only a handful of the main cast from the first film return (Topper, Admiral Benson, Ramada) but they are joined by Ryan Stiles again, this time taking the name of commando Rabinowitz; and Rowan Atkinson, playing Rowan Atkinson, er... I mean Ramada's husband, Dexter. A surprisingly good performance from Jerry Haleva as a camp Saddam Hussein rounds out a great sequel.

Both movies are definitely worth an evening in for, as they are brilliantly simple and that simplicity is the key to making them watchable. I wholly enjoyed the childish humour, bad jokes, breaking the fourth wall and numerous sight gags and am tempted to spend the next week watching the Police Academy series as it reminded me how well comedy can be written. - 4 packs of Tiger Blood out of 5


Hot Shots Trailer --- IMDB
Part Deux Trailer --- IMDB

Sunday, 20 January 2013

January 20th - Hu Hao Shuang Xing (Tiger and Crane Fists)



January 20th - Hu Hao Shuang Xing (Tiger and Crane Fists)

After watching Kung Pow, I just had to see the inspiration. Tiger and Crane Fists starts off with a completely different scene to Oedekerk's version, which threw me off right from the get go. I assumed the storylines would be roughly the same, and I suppose they are to an extent, but Kung Pows is a lot easier to follow and understand. Having watched Kung Pow prior to this, I can only really see it as opposed to the original when I watch. Even the dubbing sounds similar. There's not much I can say about Tiger and Crane Fists that I haven't praised Kung Pow for already, so I reckon you'd have a better time watching that instead.

Unintentionally funny, but not as good as Oedekerk's adaptation. - 2.5 tigers out of 5 cranes


Saturday, 19 January 2013

January 19th - Kung Pow: Enter the Fist



Now this is more like it!

There were just so many moments in this film where I was almost dying with laughter, from the gopher nun-chucks to the intermission song, I was smiling the whole way through.
Kung Pow is the story of The Chosen One's (Steve Oederkerk) journey to avenge the death of his parents at the hands of Master Pain. Isn't that what most martial arts movies are about? What you might not know is that Kung Pow is unique (to my knowledge) in that it is part archived footage of another movie (Hu He Shuang Xing/Tiger and Crane Fists) with the audio all dubbed by Oederkerk in addition to some green-screening. I won't say that this technique is flawless, but it was very well done, with some scenes looking flawlessly edited. The CGI is better than some films too. It's not very often you get called on to create a kung-fu cow, but it happened, and boy did it kung my fu.

Wow. That sounded wrong.

With Oederkerk doing all the dubbing, there are bound to be a few over the top voices, and this is confirmed as soon as Miss Piggy starts squealing. It doesn't stop there though. He even gives the background characters voices. See that group of kids running down the street? They're singing a song about how they are children. I didn't say they were interesting voices, did I? We do get a scene of two guys with their mouths completely shut singing while carrying stuff though. Because they're ventriloquists! How ingenious is that? We get the obligatory 'mouth-moves-for-ages-and-only-says-one-word' line, and even the dog gets dubbed. For barking... With copious amounts of video game sound-bites and the line, “killing is badong”, I'll leave you with this thought.

Did that cow just piledrive him?

I don't care what anyone says, I loved this film and highly recommend anyone who enjoys old martial arts films to watch this. Too bad there's no sequel. - 4 gophers out of 5


Trailer --- IMDB

Oh. And there are aliens in it. They're French. Deal with it.

Friday, 18 January 2013

January 18th - Behemoth




Behemoth - “any creature or thing of monstrous size or power”

The thing IN the film, sure. The film itself, perhaps not.

Behemoth is a TV film that premiered on SyFy in 2011. The same year and channel that bought us, well, not much. I guess 2011 wasn't their year for premieres. Generally speaking, I'm a big fan of what SyFy airs, but this wasn't their best effort.
Behemoth is all about an ancient creature that was laying dormant under the Earth's surface but for an unknown reason woke up and decided to cause panic in a small town at the foot of a dormant volcano by creating earthquakes, tremors and the like.
Throughout the film, we are granted with a simple storyline (the volcano looks like it's about to blow! UT OH!), some glaringly bad special effects, a few instances of overacting, and plenty of exaggerated screams. Personally, I think this would have been better suited to a series (or even mini-series), as there was plenty to expand on – the CO2 clouds, the submerged diner, the Smoking Man's theories --- Yes, the Smoking Man from the X-Files is in this ---, some kind of explanation about the weapon. I get that there was supposed to be a sense of urgency, but what I was watching was far too laid back for something that could destroy the world at any given moment. I wasn't drawn in to the story, couldn’t' relate or form a bond with any of the characters, and found I could concentrate while doing other things. To me, these are the things you need to get right for a successful film. There was a good idea behind the scenes, but the execution was lackluster. Aside from the aforementioned screaming, the acting wasn't that bad, and I expect Ed Quinn to go on to bigger and brighter things.

Something to have on in the background while... I don't know... doing the ironing or something. 2 volcanoes out of 5


Trailer --- IMDB

Thursday, 17 January 2013

January 17th - Zathura (PG)



The unofficial sequel to Jumanji, Zathura follows the same pattern that made Robin Williams' jungle adventure so charming.
Danny (Jonah Bobo) and Walter (Josh Hutcherson) are bickering brothers who are bored as anything when they are left under the 'supervision' of their sister Lisa (Kristen Stewart). Danny finds a board game called 'Zathura' and convinces Walter to play it with him. When they discover that their house has been transported to outer space, things start to get weird. Walter decides that the only way home is to finish the game, so they continue playing amidst the distractions the game throws at them. Along the way, they meet 'the stranded astronaut' (Dax Shepard), who helps them fend off against the lizard-like Zorgons.
I'm not going to say anything mean about this film. Sure there were bits that didn't make sense, but it's a kids movie, and what matters is that it is enjoyable to watch, not how factually correct it is. So Just like Jumanji, once the boys start to play the game, they encounter certain phenomena, mostly dangerous and have to overcome or outlive it to proceed. These events are exactly what I thought space travel would be like when I was a kid, meteors, robots, lizard aliens, so I kind of reverted back to a child whilst watching. Whilst being 12 again, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie for what it was – a fun space adventure with nothing pressuring me to criticize it.
Even though it was a fine waste of 2 hours, it suffered the fate of being released in the same year as Toy Story, and also 4 years after Monsters Inc. This meant it had to compete against the already dominating Disney/Pixar combo who have grasped a firm handle on being the most predominant childrens/family movie makers. Even so, Zathura manages to keep you entertained all the way through with it's child-like charm and quirky story. Even Kristen Stewart was on form when she gets frozen and has to be replaced with a life-size model. Some of her best work there!

All in all, a pleasant journey back to my childhood. - 3 spaceships out of 5


Trailer --- IMDB

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

January 16th - Brick (15)




Um... What did I just watch?
It's kind of hard to review something that I didn't understand, but I'll give it a go. Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) finds the dead body of his girlfriend at the entrance to a sewage tunnel and goes on the hunt to find out what happened to her. Something happens and he gets involved in a drug ring.
Oh. And it's all set at a high school with students.
For most of the film I was trying to figure out if he was a student or a detective, and if it takes me that long to understand what the main character’s deal is, maybe I shouldn't be watching. Even though I was having trouble following, I couldn't stop, no matter how much I wanted to. Maybe it was the brass-jazz playing, or the old-school detective show voices, but whatever it was, it drew me in. Even after reading the plot synopsis and an FAQ on the film, I'm still a little stumped.
Do not be disheartened though. JGL was fantastic, and the music was extremely enthralling, so give it a go if you like crime/drama/mysteries.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this one. - 1 brick out of five because I had zero clue what was going on.


Trailer --- IMDB

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

January 15th - Hostel: Part 3 (18)




A straight-to-video threequel.
This sounds like it's going to be an amazing film, right? Nope.
Hostel 3 follows a dude and his 3 friends on his stag weekend or something. I don't know. The film wasn’t' that interesting so I didn't pay too much attention. We all know what happens next. Yup. They end up as prey for the EHG. This is the only connection to the Hostel franchise as this film takes place in Las Vegas and doesn't have backpacking teens in it.
As the third re-enactment of the same story, I'll keep this short. Very short.
  • Not much gore
  • Bad acting
  • Boring
  • Characters were not believable
  • VERY cheesy ending
  • No bubblegum boys

I guess that's what you get for not having Eli Roth on staff.

Don't bother watching, even of you are a fan of 1+2. - 2 crutches out of 5



Now that's out the way, I can better spend my time eating hobnobs and watching cat videos on Youtube.

Trailer --- IMDB